im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
