After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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