Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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