watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i drank out of a bidet.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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