the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
