How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
