i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
