white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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