We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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