And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
