So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
