I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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