2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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