i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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