Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
