Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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