Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
