You're so nebulous sometimes
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
