Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
