Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
