I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
