everyone is single if you try hard enough
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
