Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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