I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
His nipple licking is glorious
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