my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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