Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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