Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't turn off my feet"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
