I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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