trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
