He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
