Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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