it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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