he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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