id be glad to
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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