Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
