OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
