Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sorry about my life...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
