You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
