You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I did not marry a roomba.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
