Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
