made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
