I only kidnapped one of them. chill
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
