you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
