You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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