one might say we're banned from that church
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
