just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I supernannyed him into submission
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
