I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Screwed.edu
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
