Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
