another moral hangover. fuck.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
