bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
